DICK WHITTINGTON
Dick Whittington holds the distinction of being the only traditional pantomime story to definitely originate in Britain, and the only one to feature actual historical characters.
With a London theme, a voyage on a ship, a scene underwater in the realm of King Neptune, and a showdown in Morocco with that nastiest of all villains, King Rat, our version of the tale retains all the traditional elements you'd expect from this much-loved panto tale.
SCRIPT SAMPLE
This is part of the famous cooking scene, featuring FANNY THE COOK and IDLE JACK...
FANNY
Right, so where’s the recipe for those doughnuts? (She finds the recipe in a recipe book and gets a mixing bowl ready. She reads from the recipe.) First, we need two eggs.
(IDLE JACK finds two eggs and places them together on the table.)
FANNY
(reading from the recipe) Separate the eggs.
(IDLE JACK moves the two eggs apart from each other.)
FANNY
Good. (She picks up the eggs and chucks them in the mixing bowl, still in their shells.) Now beat it.
(IDLE JACK moves to walk away.)
FANNY
I mean the eggs!
IDLE JACK
Oh. (He beats the eggs with a fork.)
FANNY
Now we need to add water.
(IDLE JACK produces a jug of water – it looks decidedly murky.)
FANNY
Hold on – that water looks a bit murky! Where’s it from?
IDLE JACK
The tap.
FANNY
Are you sure?
IDLE JACK
Positive. I saw the Alderman filling his bath with it just this morning.
FANNY
Well, if it’s good enough for the Alderman... (She pours the water in the mixing bowl.) Now, a little flour.
(IDLE JACK produces a small flower in a pot.)
FANNY
Excellent. (She puts it in the mixing bowl.) Now we just need to stir the mixture. You do that, while I switch on the oven.
IDLE JACK
What shall I stir it with?
FANNY
Use your head, boy!
(She turns away to see to the oven. When she turns back, holding a baking tray, she sees him attempting to put his head in the bowl. She picks up a wooden spoon and clonks him with it.)
FANNY
You might find this easier!
(IDLE JACK takes the spoon and stirs the mixture.)
IDLE JACK
Right, what next?
FANNY
Get some butter. (He does so, and she hands him the baking tray.) Now grease the bottom.
(She moves to the oven and bends over to examine it. IDLE JACK looks from the butter to her bottom. He rubs the butter on her bottom. She jumps in fright, takes the baking tray from him and clonks him with it.)
FANNY
Give me that mixture!
(IDLE JACK hands her the bowl and she puts it on the tray and into the oven.)
FANNY
Now, while the doughnuts are cooking, you’d best get your boiled egg ready.
IDLE JACK
OK, then. (Pause.) So how do I do it?
FANNY
Oh, you useless boy, don’t you know anything?! You just… (She looks at a loss, then has to take a look in the recipe book.) Take one egg. (He does so.) Stand in boiling water for four minutes.
(IDLE JACK starts taking off his shoes and socks. Finally, FANNY sees him.)
FANNY
You stupid boy! (To audience) Do you know, boys and girls, I don’t know why the Alderman employs him, I really don’t!
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