ALADDIN
No pantomime is more lavish or extravagant as Aladdin - it's a designer's dream, combining themes from both China and Egypt.
Our version features all of the show's much-loved characters, including Widow Twankey and her idiot employee Wishee Washee, the evil Abanazar, and, of course, the wonderful scamp himself, Aladdin.
SCRIPT SAMPLE
In this scene, our two incompetent Chinese policemen, PC PING and PC PONG, have arrived at WIDOW TWANKEY's launderette to search for the fugitive ALADDIN...
PC PONG
‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello, what’s goin’ on ‘ere then?
PC PING
Err, I’m in charge! ‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello, what’s goin’ on ‘ere, then? We have reason to believe you are harbouring a fugitive.
WISHEE WASHEE
What does that mean?
PC PONG
It means... err... (To PC PING) What does it mean?
PC PING
It means they are concealing a renegade.
PC PONG
Oh. And what does that mean?
PC PING
How should I know?! (To WIDOW TWANKEY) Anyway, we’re on the lookout for a young boy…
WIDOW TWANKEY
Oh, yes?
PC PING
…and his description matches your son.
PC PONG
So we want to ask you some questions.
PC PING
Now, I must warn you that my colleague will take down anything you say.
WIDOW TWANKEY
All right, then ... trousers!
(PC PONG pulls his own trousers down to reveal silly underpants.)
PC PING
No, you fool, you’re meant to take down her particulars!
PC PONG
Oh, all right.
(He starts fiddling about with WIDOW TWANKEY. She squeals and pushes him away.)
WIDOW TWANKEY
You keep your hands to yourself, you naughty constable!
PC PING
Just answer our questions. (To WISHEE WASHEE) Have you ever been up before the judge?
WISHEE WASHEE
I don’t know, what time does he get up?
PC PONG
(To WIDOW TWANKEY) Do you have a police record?
WIDOW TWANKEY
No, but I’ve got one of Sting singing on his own.
PC PING
(To PC PONG) They’re not taking our enquiries seriously.
PC PONG
No, and they’re not answering the questions properly either.
PC PING
I think they’re hiding something. Right! Search the place!
(They search the launderette, ending up at the washing machine.)
PC PING
I bet he’s hiding in here, isn’t he?
(WIDOW TWANKEY and WISHEE WASHEE encourage the audience to say yes.)
PC PING
You thought you were too clever for us, didn’t you?!
(Again, WIDOW TWANKEY and WISHEE WASHEE encourage the audience to say yes. PC PONG goes to climb in the washing machine, only to be stopped by PC PING.)
PC PING
Err, I’m in charge! (He looks inside.) I can’t see him.
WIDOW TWANKEY
You need to look further in. Doesn’t he boys and girls?!
PC PING
(to PC PONG) Well, don’t just stand there! Give me a push!
(PC PONG, WISHEE WASHEE and WIDOW TWANKEY all push PC PING into the washing machine. WISHEE WASHEE shuts the door and turns it on. Washing machine sound effects until WISHEE WASHEE turns the washing machine off and opens the door. A mini version of PC PING comes out – he has shrunk in the wash.)
PC PONG
I take it he wasn’t in there. Oh, well, let’s go back to the station.
MINI PC PING
Err, I’m in charge!
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